May 2021 - The Warwick Hotel, Downtown Seattle WA

It was early morning in Seattle, but evening in another time zone. My room was on the 10th floor and I could see the city start to wake up outside. 

I turned on the lights and pulled the blackout curtains. Then I set up my laptop for the call. I took a deep breath and joined the meeting... 

"... I want to thank you for everything you have done for me. I would not be working in this industry today if you didn't give me a chance back then. But like I told HR, I'm handing them my 2 week notice. I will leave everything in order during the transition."

The guy I was speaking to was the Design Director at my soon to be former studio. We were not close by any measure, but he was the one who approved my move to a Game Designer role. At the time, it was huge deal for me. That had been 7 years before.

"HR told me you were leaving... is there anything I can offer you to-"

"Thank you, but I'm moving to America."

He nodded. "Yes, F. mentioned it. I'm sorry to see you go. This is actually going to put me in a tight spot, but it's ok" he paused. "You know, I mentioned your move to my wife and she couldn't understand why anyone would want to move to the US. I'm not sure I agree with her. There's always been something about America... a potential... well, in any case. I do wish you the best. If you decide to come back..."

"Thank you, that is very much appreciated."

Unsaid was that asking for my job back would mean a step back. Retreat. Failure. 

It was time to move forwards.

June 2022 - an office building in Downtown Seattle, WA

"Wow, that looks amazing!" she said, staring at the Medieval Castle that gave Dracula its lore. The camera panned and you could see a picturesque hillsides and secular forests. A rustic village was nestled at the foothills of a rugged, heavily forested mountain. 

"Why would you trade that for Seattle?" she asked. She was a Nor-Cal girl that had moved to Seattle around a decade before, because: I can't afford to live in California anymore. 

She had just become the third designer at our little company and I was showing her some videos of Romania, the place I had left behind. Remembering it now, she was completely befuddled why anyone from Europe would want to live in the US. As far as she was concerned, I was trading a picturesque life in the Shire for life in the ghetto. Some (many?) Americans thought Europe had all the things they wanted for themselves. 

"Well... different problems, different perks" I offered meekly. "You have to move with the opportunities you get..."

4th of July 2019 - On a yacht in New York Harbor

"... so you see, if I were you, I'd throw that Green Card into the sea."

"I dunno, man. A lot of people would kill to have one. I know there are problems, but I have to see where it takes me." I pointedly tried to look towards the Statue of Liberty, which we had just passed on our little cruise.

"Suit yourself. You'll remember not listening to me" he said. 

I did remember and I feel no ill will towards the guy. He was trying to warn me that the America I was getting ready to move to was not the America I expected. The rich, freedom loving place where people came to live the American Dream was changing. The Dream was harder and harder to reach. Attitudes were different. Not everyone had a great time. 

We had just finished a conversation about that. Without going into the politics of the day... the US was not doing great. Other places offered opportunity. The social fabric keeping the country together was slowly tearing itself apart. Divisive ideologies were taking root and people were not friendly to those they disagreed with. It was hard to see what was keeping it all together. The America I grew up mentally imagining, the America of the 80s-90s was an optimistic place that seemed to offer unlimited possibilities. I told him as much. 

"Yeah, that America is gone. You'll see for yourself. You've never listened to me."

My best friend walked over saying "Don't listen to him. You do what you have to do, bud."

I nodded and said "Yeah, bud. I wasn't going to throw it into the see, lol"

He was the reason I was here, celebrating America on its Birthday. The US had been very good to him. Through lots of hard work and a little luck, he had managed to be very successful in the US. He lived in a big condo in Manhattan and got to rent a yacht in NYC on the 4th of July to entertain his friends. Many native born Americans would be envious for much less. 

We were highschool friends and he was, and still is, by far the most successful person from our class of 2006.  Over the years, we managed to stay in touch even though we went to different colleges and he eventually moved to the US for work... to Seattle of all places, then to New York City. 

My own road to the US had been... much more complicated. I had tried to visit my buddy not long after college and they rejected my tourist Visa. I shrugged and went alone on a Eurotrip instead. Often, you have to wait for things to happen in their own time.

3 years later, I tried again. A lot of things had changed and I was really not looking to settle down. So my friend and I went on an epic roadtrip across 7 States. 

"You should apply for the Visa Lottery. It's free, you know?" he told me at the end of the roadtrip. 

I looked at him funnily. "Move to America? What would I even do here?" I asked. "Besides, I have ties to Romania..."

"I think you should try it, bud. I think you would do well here."

The odds of being selected for the (now discontinued) Visa Lottery for a Romanian citizen are 1 in 326. I am very lucky. 

So he was the one that set me on this path, and whatever else may happen on this journey, I will always be grateful that he did. 

Sometimes we move towards our own goals. Other times we move to keep up with others. 

The Caveman Marathon - Unknown  

There is a famous story of a cave with people staring at the dancing shadows of a fire. A famous murder. 

Another cave, with another group of people. This cave is larger, the crowd is bigger. There is no murder before the journey. The people are eager to start the race. The fire rages brighter, a light to follow. In the other story, only one person ventured forth. Here, many people take up the challenge. And they are all holding a bag.

Like Marathon runners, they move at different speeds. Some slow, others fast. Some move in groups and others alone. Yet everyone is clinging to their bag.

You are running towards this light, your goal. You are picking up shards of it along the way, increments of an elusive objective that may not be defined or achievable. You get distracted.

You see other people along the way that have stopped. Is their race over? Then you notice their grip. They are holding tightly onto their bag. But why? 

You keep going. Time has passed. Your bag feels heavier too... 

The Doctrine of Motion - USA

I was fortunate to come to the US at all and I was more fortunate to get here the way I did. 

Many stars had to align and a light had to shine at the right time, in the right place, for me to be writing these words today. 

I give myself credit only for not stopping. At every point, there was a reason to turn back. It was too late for me! My family and friends would miss me. Would my wife agree to this move? Was this even worth it? Why was I going? Did I even need this? I wasn't fleeing war or persecution or even poverty. There were many well meaning people along the way that pointed out the dangers. There were many reasons to say thanks, but no thanks.  

But I went because I could and I could because I believed I had to. To borrow a foreign word from a foreign religion, it was my dharma.  

So I was fortunate again, because America seems to bless mobility. The core of the American Spirit is an embrace of movement, both physicals, mental and social. The first test is to move here. The second is to keep moving once you get here.

What is Freedom if not an ability to move? 

It is tempting to talk about the US as the country, but a country is a shadow on a cave wall. It is a projection of our own thoughts and values, set on the canvas 

of geography. Different people will see different things in the same shadows. 

Countries have doctrines for making war. Unknowingly, they define for us the character of their people and civilizations. A doctrine defines the tools, the goals and the limits of hardship the people are expected to suffer in pursuit of Victory. Chinese and Russian military doctrines are rooted in Active Defense. They are looking at the bag... 

America is all about mobility. 

America is a future-facing place. 

It is not defined by the past, as much as it is by the future it is moving towards. The past is in a bag and it will stop you from moving if you look at it for too long. The past is dead and so are its sins and glories.

That is what it means to be an American to me. It is to embrace the irrational belief that the future will be a better place, in spite of any and all evidence to the contrary. It is to believe that things will work out eventually, if you try hard enough. 

It is to never stop moving forwards.